How To Be An Introvert/Empath In A SOCIAL Media World

Updated: Jan 14

Part 1

Super drained.

Waking up and dreading the day.


Worn down.

This was me.

Not all the time, but a lot of the time.

Especially 5 months ago.

I start my day immediately on my phone.

Check email, Instagram, and Facebook.

Scroll. Scroll. Scroll.

Instantly liking, commenting, checking-out what everyone is up to.

5 months ago. I was in this hamster wheel.

I was all about:

Growing my Sonoma Wine Life accounts. Get MORE followers!

Comment Pods (click HERE to learn about comment pods)

Oh and I was on a mission to let everyone know that:

Bots suck!

(click HERE to learn about what a BOT is)

I wasn't using bots to grow my following, so I essentially had to become my own bot.

Like everyone's posts.

Comment on everyone's posts.

Get noticed.

1 hour on Instagram became

2 and then became

3, and finally it became this all encompassing time drain.

I had to keep up, stay relevant AND not be rude...

If I don't comment/like on other people's content, then what if they think I don't care?


No need for Sherlock Holmes and Columbo to solve this case.

It suddenly hit me.

I wasn't a Barbie Girl in a Barbie World.

I was an INTROVERT girl, in a social media world, and....

I was drowning.

First of

Contrary to most people's assumptions, I am NOT an extrovert.

Ya, I can get on camera and put on a show and smile.

Yes, I love filming videos and socializing with friends.

I like to be out and about.

For every hour I spend out I need LOADS of recovery time.

Lots of weekends and weeknights I spend quietly in my room.

Just me. My dog. A cozy tv show on. Just vegging.

You'd think that social media would be perfect for introverts.

From the comfort of their home, an introvert gets on social and peruses.

Ideal. No need to interact in person.

The thing that I didn't realize...

Every like, comment, dm message, post, caption, response to a comment was...

taking a toll on my introverted soul.



This is not a pity party, and I'm not saying I hate interacting.

It's just that now I've figured out my introvert energy and social media demands.

Once I learned how to harness my energy, it doesn't drain me.

Before this revelation I was interacting with EVERYTHING.

I was a 'like' tramp.

Liking all up and down the Instagram countryside.

It felt fake.

Spread the love, I thought.

Then I'd think...but do I really resonate with what I just liked?

I battled with the part of me who knew that going on liking sprees was inauthentic and also that a part of me was just trying to keep up with everyone else.

Tired. Exhausted.

It's important to note that in real life....

I'm a cautious and observant introvert.

It takes me a looooooooong time to warm up to people.

To let people see the true me.

There is a reason I have a very SMALL group of friends.

I take my time. I'm slow to trust.

Yet, here I am on social media acting like a social butterfly?!?!?!?

Trying to make everyone and anyone be my friend.

Commenting on posts felt the same as liking sprees.

I was in something called a 'comment pod'.

I even got a group of fabulous wine ladies together and started my own comment pod!

Essentially, a comment pod is everyone in the pod comments on each other's posts.

The more comments your post has, when it first goes up on the Instagram, the more likely Instagram's algorithm will show your post to more people.

Driving in the car. Sitting on the toilet. Out with friends.

Always on my phone.

Liking and commenting on everyone's posts!!!


Pet Peeve: I HATE leaving lame and impersonal comments.

It was eating me up inside.

Leaving comments on posts that didn't really intrigue me, or interest me, or wow me, or quite frankly...

Posts that did not generate a clever comment.

It was draining to leave a half-assed comment just to follow the rules of the comment pod.

I like being personal, silly, and making my comments special.

Just like in real life.

The introvert in me is a really good listener in social situations.

I'd much rather listen than talk.

In fact I hardly talk. I like letting my friends talk.

I observe. I offer little comments or insights when it feels relevant and meaningful.

Listening and choosing my words carefully takes a lot out of me.

After a night of socializing, I come home and lay in bed. Zonked.

Yet, I was thinking online would be different?!?!?!

That I could run around all over instagram chatting away in the comments.

Like this wouldn't affect my energy.


I needed a snap-out-of-it moment.

If I kept trying to masquerade as a social butterfly on social media, I wouldn't be true to my inner core.

I had to stop.

I had to stop playing the social media game.

I had to accept that my follower numbers would not grow as fast.

I had to be ok with letting the algorithms move on without me.


I most likely would piss some people off with my new mindset.

My lack of liking and commenting might come across as rude, arrogant, and not a team player.

A wave of relief came over me though.

When I decided to stop playing the social media algorithm game, I was relieved.

I'm not technically doing social media for the money, or fame, or super influencer status.

At the end of the day,

I'm doing this because I LOVE sharing my Sonoma County life.

I choose to be me.

A Social Media Introvert.

Part 2

To top it off. I'm an empath too. (Click HERE to learn what an empath is)

Growing up in an alcoholic home I quickly learned how to scan a room.

I always had to know what mood my alcoholic father was in.

Observing people's body language, tone, and personalities became my superpower.

I'm an introverted-empath.

I have sensitivities to:

Sounds, lighting, chaos, colors, moods.

Here I am thinking I can scroll on social media from the comfort of my bed.

Thinking that all the colors, words and intensity of the social media online space wouldn't trigger me.

This misconception has truly been a revelation.

Here's an example of my empath tendencies:

Before I go to a baseball game, I have to prepare.

Good nights sleep, meditation, comfy clothes, fiddle stone and gum to chew for when I'm anxious.

Being in a crowded stadium.

Bumping up against people.

Shouting from the crowd.

It takes a toll on me.

Social Media is just as intense as a baseball stadium.

Millions of people all posting and trying to get attention.

Yet, I expected myself to be part of it, easy-breezy.

Navigate through all the noise and chatter with no tools to help me.

Recently I've shifted how I approach all of this mayhem in my brain.

I spend WAY LESS TIME on social media.

I still LOVE social media, but I have to trust.

I trust that the universe will direct me to the right people, at the right time.

When I go on social media now, I'm more selective.

Which posts I see, when I comment, what I like.

It has to feel right in my soul. It has to be a hell YES!

With this mentality, I leave the social media space feeling good about myself and truthful to who I am.

I leave feeling energized and not wiped out.


My follower count is not growing rapidly.

Likes and comments on my instagram photos have gone down DRASTICALLY.

Social Media is a double edged sword for me.

On one hand it wipes me out.

On the other hand it makes me burst with creativity.

I love playing in the social media space.

I just play a little differently now.

I constantly ask myself...

How I can show-up as an introvert-empath and avoid all the burnout?


© 2020 Sheila Jane Co.