Welcome!  Here's a little background to get you up to speed on my weight journey thus far!  Bottom line: I turn to food for comfort. Growing up my dad showed love by cooking dinner every night.  Unfortunately, by the time our family sat down to eat he was usually drunk.  My dad was an alcoholic.  On a nightly basis he'd be in an alcoholic rage. He was also king of the kitchen.  Controller of the kitchen.  I never felt welcome in the kitchen.  No cooking with my parents, making a mess, or learning to experiment and enjoy cooking. Having a VERY controlling parent stunted me in many ways.  

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Luckily, my weight wasn't much of an issue growing up.  I was active in sports.  I shot up like a bean pole in middle school and kept growing.  At a height of 5'10 I had a long and lanky body that helped stretch my weight.  

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In 2010 I started to gain.  I had come out of a relationship with a man who always had his eye on other women.  My jealousy and insecurities flared.  I also was a teacher and laid off from my job every year.  Stress mounted. My metabolism wasn't keeping up like it used to. 

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I moved to Sonoma County in 2012 with a new boyfriend.  I was a fish out of water with no friends.  Food was comfort.  My partner was Italian...big pots of eggplant parmesan, linguini with clams, pizza, lasagna...you name the Italian carb and he was cooking it up on the daily.  His body could handle it.  The man never had to exercise.  His metabolism was moving at warp speed.  He lifted a plate and gained muscle.  Meanwhile, I fell into a carb and weight gain depression.   He was also cheating on me and I could sense something was off.  When we broke up, my single life consisted of eating out and drinking on weekends.  

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I've tried many diets over the years.  In 2019 I lost 14lbs with WW and gained it all back.  I have a reoccurring pattern: obsess about work and forget everything else including my health. I've had spurts when I exercise and then fall off the wagon.  Spurts when I've ate healthy and then back to old habits.  Carbs, snacks and sweets are my weakness.  

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Recently, I've had huge growth with my Alanon recovery.  Alanon is a program that helps me deal with the disease of alcoholism and its affects on my life.  I work Alanon's 12 steps, go to weekly meetings and use tools to maintain my serenity.  I am 7 years in to my Alanon recovery!  IT DAWNED ON ME!  I've seen HUGE improvements in my mental health due to consistency with Alanon.....what if I applied the same consistency to my weight journey?  In Alanon I know it's about the journey and not the destination.  A daily commitment to recovering from the harmful effects of alcoholism.  There is no quick fix in Alanon.   

 

What if I applied the same thought process to WW?  What if I finally saw this as a lifelong journey instead of a quick fix?  What if I tracked my points everyday and checked in with the WW community....just like I journal everyday to track my character defects that pop-up and attend regular Alanon meetings?  What if I admitted that my relationship with food has problems and took the first step to recovery?  The infrastructure of WW reminds me in many ways of the Alanon principles.  

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That's where we are!  I officially joined WW and over the course of 2020 lost 40lbs!  I started at 232lbs and my goal is to reach 182 and maintain at that weight for a bit before I decide if I want to lose a bit more. 

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